The Depth of Pure Blue Just to Probe Curiosity

Everything is temporary  

You kind of broke my heart. I still want you. I want to cry in your arms, I want to be with you. But you don’t want me. 

I liked you so much, more than I ever liked anyone in my entire life. I told you things I haven’t told anyone, I thought I meant something to you. I was so wrong, you just used me and I let you, I let you because I liked you. But I’m never going to let it happen again, I’m done with you. I’m going to be strong and ignore you. I never want to see you again, I want you out of my life. I hate you and yet I still want you. I know I can’t though, I have to be strong and let go of you. I have to wait for someone who isn’t fake, someone who will love me and respect me. I hope you enjoyed it while it lasted. I hope you’re happy. I hate how you’ve made me feel. I’m never going to be the same again. I feel so awful when I’m with you, but I just wanted you to be happy. Never again. 

Can I freeze time? Everything has been so lovely lately, I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want things to change. I love the freedom, the carelessness….sleepless nights, drugs, sex, boys. I love being young. I don’t want this chapter to end, I love the adventure.